Friday, October 2, 2009
My daughter slept in her own bed all night last night and for her nap this afternoon. Here’s hoping for another successful night tonight. I took the night off because I am feeling a little worn out. It has been a rough few nights and it is going to take a really good night's sleep for me to be all caught up. I will be back at it tomorrow. My poll has ended, and the popular vote for chucking the weight loss program in the past is lack of motivation. I have totally been there. When I was younger, I was defiant about losing weight. I didn't feel it was necessary for me to conform to society's standards. As I got older, that translated into lack of motivation because I was just so used to being lazy and fat! I really started to be concerned about my weight when I got engaged. I had a vision of myself walking down the aisle looking like the Michelin Man, so I joined a gym and got my bohunkus on the tread mill. I was on a low carb diet as well, and that seemed to work, because with the combination of diet and exercise I lost 50 pounds. Once the honeymoon was over, however, I quickly gained back all the weight I lost plus a few. I got comfortable again, and life kind of got in the way and I just gave up. I was complacent in this holding pattern until my husband and I started talking about having a baby, so when we stared trying, I got back on the wagon. I chose a low fat and low calorie diet because I realized that low carb could not be a lifestyle change for me. I just can't live without bread or pasta forever. Once I got pregnant, the "diet" and exercise was out the window again because I miscarried previous to getting pregnant with my daughter and I was terrified that it was because of something I did, so I sat with my feet up for the first 6 months. By the time I felt comfortable enough to go for walks again I was 7 months pregnant. For those of you that have ever been pregnant, walking is the last thing on your mind in the last trimester. I waddled like a duck, and my bladder was the size of a flattened penny, so walking was out. I had this sensational idea that I would get out and walk with the baby once she was born, but when she got here I found out that things didn’t fit in neat little boxes of time anymore. I felt like my entire day was consumed by just trying to keep her fed. I was having trouble breast feeding so the schedule was as follows: offer her the breast, give her bottle, try to pump. By the time I finished, it was time to sterilize the breast pump and start all over. I was an emotional wreck because I had my heart set on breast feeding, and that just didn't happen. I was physically and emotionally exhausted for the first 3 months of her life. People kept telling me that things would get easier, but the light at the end of the tunnel seemed to be the headlamp of an oncoming train. We finally got over the hump of 2 am and 4 am feedings and the colic...oh the colic, and by the time she was 4 1/2 months old, I decided to get my life back in order. I was terrified the first time I stepped on the scale. I swore to myself that I would never be back to 400, but low and behold...413. I weighed 1 pound less than I did before we started trying to conceive. I was back to square 1. That was a huge blow to my morale, but I came to the conclusion that nobody could change my life except for me, and I had a brand new reason to stick to it this time. So, here I am, well on my way to getting healthy. I guess my whole point to this long and drawn out story is that you have to find your own source for motivation. It helps me to see my daughter while I am eating and working out. She is a constant reminder why I am doing what I am doing. Thanks for listening to my story. I hope everyone has a terrific weekend! I will post more soon, but until then, I bid you good night.
Posted by Amelia's Mom at 8:04 PM