No Time For Negativity

OK this is the deal. I realize that when I started this blog, I said that I was looking forward to the accountability, but I was not expecting people to be so nasty. I realize that a lot of you have been super supportive, but I will not stand for people bringing my daughter into this. Very few of you know me personally, so I am just words on a screen to you, but make no mistake, I am flesh and blood, and I have feelings. The comments on my blog just kept getting more and more ridiculous, and frankly I am just done with all of the negativity. I am not giving up on me, but I am choosing to surround myself with people that care about and support me. People that encourage me and build me up. This will be my last post, but I am continuing with my weight loss goals. Thanks to those of you that have truly been supportive, and good luck to those of you that are struggling with weight loss.

Decisions Decisions...

Well, it has been a rough couple of weeks. In the past, going to work was a no brainer. I have held a steady job in one form or another since I was 16. Now, going back to work is the worst thing I can think of. How do you put a price on the peace of mind that your child is safe and well cared for? Why would I pay someone to do the job that I want to do and I already do for free? I have been struggling with these thoughts for a while now, and even though I have been submitting my resume and putting myself out there, I am nauseated by the thought of someone else caring for my daughter. I know it has been a couple of weeks since I last posted, but Eddie and I have been trying to make some life altering decisions, and this is the first time since Amelia was born that we have reached such a major crossroads. Normally we are full speed ahead…no stopping, no slowing down, but now, with a baby under foot, everything has changed. Decisions that would have been no problem in the past now leave us gut wrenched, running for the Pepto! The things people don’t tell you about parenthood! Who would think that such a little person can change you so profoundly?

I have decided to take a hiatus from boot camp for a while, because that reality is that I have been spending too much money in gas just going back and forth, and while there is definite value in the knowledge Marilyn has, I could no longer justify the money spent each week when we are struggling so much just to pay our basic bills. I do plan to stay on track with eating and exercise, I am just going to enlist the support of my husband, and we will get up in the mornings and go for a walk, or do some exercise here. I got an awesome workout set for Christmas. It has a balance ball, a medicine ball, and resistance bands. I will just have to break out the palliates DVD and get to work. I am happy to report that I lost 5 pounds last week as of Tuesday (for those of you that are keeping track, the math doesn’t add up because I gained 3 pounds over the week of Christmas. So, I went from 393 to 385 to 388, and then to 383…I have been on a bit of a roller coaster) I am almost out of the 380’s, and I am looking forward to the 370’s. I was down to 374 when I got pregnant with Amelia, so I Am almost back to my pre-pregnancy weight…woohoo!

Food Today:
Breakfast: Cheerios with 2% milk
Lunch: Turkey and Swiss on wheat with Mayo with Olive Oil (a much better alternative than light mayo)
Snack: 100 calorie yogurt pretzels
Dinner: Veggie Omelet with a side of grapes and a tangerine

I also have a favor to ask. Could each of you please post a low calorie, low fat recipe that I can make for under 10 dollars. I am finding it difficult to maintain a food budget, and I could really use some advice. Something that would also provide leftovers would be ideal. I hope this post finds you well. Have a terrific weekend. XOXOXOXO

Christmas, Catch-Up, And Thoughts On The New Year

Amelia had a wonderful first Christmas. I hope all of you were blessed this Christmas with the company of loved ones and the spirit of our savior. I would like to first start by apologizing. I made a comment on my last blog at a time when I was feeling beat up, stressed out, and overwhelmed. I am very grateful for those of you who are rooting for me.

Honestly, my blog was the last thing on my mind over the past couple of weeks. We are currently in transition. I am not at liberty to discuss any details at this time as my blog is so public, but I will let you all know what is going on when the time is right. Until then, I am just going to keep my chin up and stay positive.

I know that I did not post on my weigh day last week, but I did weigh in. I lost 8 pounds. I am down to 385…good bye 390’s…it’s about time. I guess running myself ragged before Christmas paid off on the scale, but now I think I have a sinus infection. I have another weigh day tomorrow as well.

I have resolved to the fact that nothing is perfect, and all I can do is all I can do. I did set a goal to loose 100 pounds in 1 year, but I guess I didn’t realize how hard the journey would be with so much outside criticism. I will be the first to admit that things have not gone as planned so far. I would also like to say that I appreciate all of the helpful suggestions that many of you have given, but I am not in a place financially to do anything more than I am doing right now.

I will be posting a new poll about a kickball date soon, just let me start feeling better first. I am really looking forward to it. Marilyn found a perfect park for kickball…especially for those of us with children. It’s in Westchase, and I will get the address out once we nail down a date.

I hope this post finds all of you well. I wish you all health and prosperity in the New Year. I think 2010 is going to be a great year. My New Year’s resolution is to keep my life centered on God. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me Philippians 4:13. I am going to take some more Tylenol now. Have a terrific week.

Re-Boot Camp

I have pressed Ctrl Alt Delete, and I have rebooted my life. Over the past weekend, I feel back into some bad habits eating junk, so suffice to say that I was disappointed yesterday when I stepped on the scale. I didn’t lose anything, and then when I was a boot camp on Tues, I learned that starting next week we will not have boot camp for 2 weeks…not good!

I did buckle down and go grocery shopping yesterday, and the closest thing to a snack in my house now, is a rice cake. I got a bunch of frozen and fresh fruits and veggies and some chicken and lean beef. I am not going to give up. I have let too many things stand in my way in the past, and I am not going to quit this time. As I said before, this is a marathon. It is going to be a long and hard road. I have some bad habits to break. I am doing the best that I can right now, and I know that I will be successful.

I am sorry that I have not addressed kickball lately. I think it will be best to postpone kickball until January. I am super busy for the rest of the month with family gatherings and such as I am sure all of you are also. I will put up another poll after the first of the year to see when is best for everyone.

I have boot camp again tomorrow, and I am actually looking forward to it. I have found that when I am feeling stressed and life gets hectic, it really helps to do something physical. In the words of Elle Woods from Legally Blonde “people that exercise are happy because exercise releases endorphins and happy people just don’t kill people” I am not feeling particularly homicidal, so I guess she’s right.

I hope you all are doing well. I am so sorry that my posts have been so infrequent lately, but Amelia is growing up before my eyes and I have been just enjoying being a mommy. She is starting to stand all by herself without holding on to anything. She is learning and growing so quickly, and I don’t want to miss anything. Have a great rest of the week.

My Goal Is Back In Focus

Yesterday was weigh day, and I stayed the same. No weight lost this week, and I am completely disappointed. I am sick of being in the 390’s so I have decided to really buckle down with my eating. I need to make some changes, and I plan on putting more fresh foods in the hose as soon as we can make it grocery shopping. Eddie doesn’t get paid until Friday, so I am going to make that a priority. It has been a hectic month, but failure is not an option. I am rededicating myself to my goal. I have not made weight loss a priority for a few weeks now, and I need to regroup.

I am doing well with exercise. I did go to boot camp yesterday, and I will be going tomorrow. I enjoy my workouts, and I have noticed a huge improvement with my endurance while I have been playing with Amelia. It is such a great feeling knowing that I can keep up with her. That is something I was worried about before she was born.

I am taking my little munchkin to urgent care tonight when Eddie gets home from work. She has a runny nose and thick mucus in her throat. I have been trying to keep her nose clear with the aspirator today, but she is completely miserable. This is a first for me. The most I have dealt with as far as her not feeling well has been a fever due to a reaction to vaccines, but this runny nose stuff is no fun at all. She can barely suck her bottle without choking, and her eyes are all water. I just want her to feel better.

My food today:
Breakfast: Cheerios with 2% milk
Lunch: Peanut Butter sandwich on wheat, 2% cottage cheese, sugar free Jell-o, and pineapple
Dinner: Pork tenderloin and corn

I hope everyone is having a great week so far. Only 2 more days to the weekend. I am going to go for now. I need to start getting ready to take the baby to the doctor. I will post more soon.

My Week At A Glance

It has been a busy week getting ready for the Holi-Daze! Let me catch you up on what has been going on. Starting on last Thursday, Eddie had an impromptu visit to the ENT doctor, so I didn’t make it to boot camp, I swear after this ordeal is over, I am going to insure his ears…kind of like J-Lo insured her butt right lol! Friday and Saturday is a blur. I think we were home for 2 and a half seconds on Friday and Saturday. Here are some of the things that we did over the weekend (in no particular order): Picked up the Christmas pictures and discovered that there was a huge mix up and I wound up with copyright released pictures of someone else’s underage children on my picture CD! I made a trip back to the portrait studio were I spent what felt like forever making sure that Amelia’s pictures were not on anyone else’s order. They weren’t…thank God, but I was more than annoyed about the situation. We got Amelia’s Christmas ornament engraved and attempted to pick up her stocking, but that was screwed up too, so I am still waiting for that to be corrected. We went to Wal-Mart to find some Christmas lights, but they had a horrible selection. I did score a sweet deal on picture frames though. I got a set of 13 picture frames for 13 dollars, and I have already put them to good use. My hallway is now wall papered in Amelia. God help me when we have another child. I don’t know where I will find room for more pictures. Boot camp was canceled on Friday due to the nasty weather, and on Saturday evening we went to church. I also found out that my uncle passed away this weekend. He lived in Kentucky and was suffering with cancer, and although I don’t have the resources to make the trip for the funeral, I spent a lot of time trying to help my dad find a cheap flight and car rental with no success. He is going to end up driving I guess. That’s just all of the stuff that I can remember off the top of my head.

Yesterday was cleaning day. Holiday cleaning is like an Olympic event in my house. It requires strength of mind and body as well as endurance that would rival any gold medalist. I am pleased to announce however that we made it through the day without any causalities. Amelia was such a good sport. She spent most of the day in her crib since we don’t have a pack and play or a play yard, but she did a pretty good job of keeping herself entertained.

I was back at boot camp bright and early this morning (in the rain no less), and I was happy to be there. I love it when my days have structure. I am usually very organized, and am happiest when things go as planned. I can be a bit spontaneous at times, but for everyday stuff, I prefer to have a pretty strict schedule. I have boot camp again tomorrow, and of course it is weigh day again.

I hope everyone has a great week. We have some Christmas shopping to do this week and we still need to get our Christmas tree (that is one tradition that I plan on keeping forever…there is nothing like a real tree for Christmas). It is already shaping up to be another busy week again this week, but busy is good. Busy burns calories. Happy Monday to you, I will post more soon!